Sweet Dreams: Getting Sleep with a Baby IS Possible! Featuring Paige LeGault & Lindsey Burchfield (EP 7)

Empowering Postpartum with Jessi Sletten is an inspiring show for expecting and newly postpartum parents looking to feel prepared, supported, and empowered for their transition into parenthood – without losing themselves to it. Education, inspiration, and support for everything you need to know for your fourth trimester! Watch Live every Thursday 10am MST (Zingo TV Channel 250 & 251)

In this week’s episode of Empowering Postpartum, host Jessi Sletten invites Pediatric Sleep Specialists Paige LeGault and Lindsey Burchfield from ⁠Parenting Practice of Colorado⁠ to explore the elusive world of baby sleep. From debunking myths to offering practical strategies, the episode delves into prioritizing sleep for both newborns and parents, establishing healthy bedtime routines, and fostering independence in baby’s sleep habits.

With insights on postpartum wellness, partner involvement, and safe sleep practices, this episode offers a comprehensive guide to preparing for and navigating the challenges of newborn sleep while promoting a restful environment for the whole family.

Episode Transcript

Guest Info:
Paige LeGault & Lindsey Burchfield are friends and sleep obsessed mamas and co-founders of Parenting Practice of Colorado, where they exhausted parents take control of their child’s sleep since 2019. Working with Paige & Lindsey allows moms and dads to feel rested and energized again, slash anxiety around the sleep experience, and confidently know how to meet their baby or toddler’s sleep needs. They work with parents and caregivers in the continental US and beyond, from pregnancy through 12 years of age. The vast majority of clients who work with Paige & Lindsey have tried all of the sleep tips, tricks, and gadgets but still have a baby or toddler that is not sleeping well. Parenting Practice of Colorado helps bring clarity to why that is happening and finally help families achieve that full night’s rest they so desperately deserve.

Resources:
IG: ⁠ @parentingpracticeco
Website: https://www.parentingpracticeco.com/
Collaboration with Empowering Postpartum: ⁠4th Trimester Guide + The Sleep Farm (0-3 months)⁠

Show Notes:
Intro:
Jessi Sletten welcomes listeners to this week’s episode: “Sweet Dreams: Getting Sleep with a Baby IS Possible”Special guests: Paige LeGault and Lindsey Burchfield, Pediatric Sleep specialists, founders of Parenting Practice of Colorado join
1. Postpartum Wellness and Sleep Accessibility
Addressing unrealistic expectations around sleep for new parents and the importance of accessible sleep education.

2. Sleep Training for New Parents
Expert advice on laying healthy sleep foundations for newborns to avoid the need for sleep training.

3. Prioritizing Sleep for Newborns and Parents
Emphasis on prioritizing sleep education to lay healthy sleep foundations for newborns and parents.

4. Pregnancy and Postpartum Care Through Education
Importance of pre-pregnancy education for new mothers in postpartum care.

5. New Mom’s Sleep Challenges with Baby
Tips on addressing challenges such as establishing feeding rhythms and day-night distinction for newborns.

6. Establishing Bedtime Routines
Importance of starting a consistent bedtime routine from day one to help babies prepare for sleep.

7. Developing Night Rituals for Babies and Realistic Expectations
Suggestions for developing night rituals to aid babies in sleeping through the night.

8. Newborn Sleep Habits and Routines
Tips on regulating cortisol and melatonin levels through consistent bedtime routines.

9. Newborn Sleep and Independence
Strategies for fostering independence in newborns’ sleep habits.

10. Helping Parents Overcome Dependence on One Way of Sleeping
Advice on overcoming dependence on specific sleep methods and practicing self-care.

11. Newborn Sleep and Swaddling Techniques

Jessi Sletten 0:17
Hello, this is Jessi Sletten, from empowering, postpartum. And welcome to the Spanglish world networks on Zinco. TV channel, 250, and 251. Please remember to download both the Zingo TV app on the respective app stores on iOS and Android devices. While you download make sure to rate and leave a comment, the app is totally free. zego TV is also available on Google Chromecast, Amazon Fire, fire TV sticks, Roku, Roku sticks, and on all smart TVs. 2016 and forward. Hello, Hello, Happy Thursday. Welcome to empowering postpartum with me, Jessi Sletten. Your postpartum empowerment coach, helping you feel confident prepared and holistically supported for your unique journey into parenthood. And today, I am joined by pediatric sleep specialists pagelet Gould and Lindsey Burchfield, the founders of parenting practice of Colorado, and we’re going to be talking about how getting sleep with a baby is possible. So good morning, ladies, thank you so much for joining me, I would love to kick off this episode with you introducing yourselves and just sharing a little bit about what you do and how you help new and expecting parents.

Paige LeGault 1:33
Yeah, thank you, Jessi, for having us. We’re so excited to be here.

Lindsey Burchfield 1:37
Yeah thank you. Good morning.

Paige LeGault 1:40
We are pediatric sleep specialists. And that just means that we help families from pregnancy all the way through 12 years of age, get their little ones to sleep peacefully through the night in a gentle manner. And that can look different just depending on their age ranges. And we are so passionate about sleep. We’ve done all these models with our own kiddos. And they’re fantastic sleepers. And so we really believe that sleep is a pillar of health that we all deserve to have no matter what stage of parenting, we are in this.

Jessi Sletten 2:13
Yes. I love that so much. Do you have anything to add? Lindsey?

Lindsey Burchfield 2:17
Yeah, I would agree. I mean, the story of how we came to be here as pediatric sleep specialists started over four years ago now, which is just crazy to think. And Paige and I actually met when we were working on getting our certification to become pediatric sleep specialists. And when we met each other at our certification, we just instantly hit it off. And so we’re both from Colorado. And so we connected. And after we were certified, we actually started our own businesses. And we were both in Colorado doing the work that we were, but we stayed in touch, and we would lean on each other. And we would throw cases around talk to one another about things. And so now it’s been over two years ago when we were talking. And we finally said, why aren’t we doing this work together? Right, we both have this passion for sleep, we want to help more families, we’re in the same state, we’re good friends. And so two years ago, we came together. And we both just have a very similar philosophy and a passion around sleep, and the importance of sleep, especially in parenthood journey. And being a mother and you know, for our children’s sake. And like she mentioned, you know, personally, our children have gone through our programs, and they’re phenomenal sleepers. And we’ve reached, you know, we reap all the benefits of that. And we’re just so much on the same page that we were so excited to be able to come together to help more families, and really just, you know, prioritize sleep and help families get the sleep that they deserve, because we truly believe like Paige said, it’s a pillar of health. And we all need it to thrive both physically and mentally.

Jessi Sletten 3:56
I love that so much. It’s actually one of the things that I also agree with as being one of those pillars of postpartum wellness, and all wellness, right and all stages of life, but especially for new parents, because you know, we are going through such a journey of recovery of healing of hormone regulation right there all over the place because we’re transitioning from this pregnancy state to this postpartum state. And we are perhaps we’re breast or test feeding and so that also plays into it and you know, so much depends on quality, rest, quality sleep, and so, of course, how our babies are sleeping is going to impact how we as the birth giver are able to recover and sleep as well. And so I just, I love that we are on the same page as far as you know, sleep being this key foundational piece to wellness, especially for new parents and and their babies. And I love how you guys believe that sleep is truly accessible to everyone. And I’d love to talk a little bit about that. Because I think so often as new parents are expecting parents, that’s one of the first things we get bombarded with by, you know, people giving advice, which is not really advice. It’s more snarky remarks that are like, well, we get now you know, like, good. Good joiners, three, handle that Once babies here, right. And that’s so inspiring. Thank you for that, you know, and like, that doesn’t have to be the reality, right. And I think that it’s really doing a disservice to newer parents are expecting parents because we’re setting them up for failure, right, and we’re setting them on or settling for sleep deprivation. And for just this, it’s reality that you’re not going to union. So I’d love to hear your perspective a little bit more on that, you know, sleep accessibility.

Paige LeGault 5:58
Yeah, I think that you hit the nail on the head, Jessi just you go anywhere, your baby shower, or the grocery store at the library, and someone is going to give you some candid advice, it just feels more like backhand.

Jessi Sletten 6:16
A little jab, I’m miserable, so you’re gonna be miserable with me.

Paige LeGault 6:21
And also, I think that for Lindsey and I, when we first got into this, we didn’t understand the science of sleep, or what the actual norm should be around sleep. Just because the majority of human beings are bad sleepers doesn’t mean that that is normal, right? It’s just accepted. And so our big philosophy is if we could meet our clients at the very beginning, in the third trimester before that things even here, that is our goal, because we would love to start by avoiding sleep training, and laying healthy foundations in the fourth trimester. So that way, you there’s no sleep debt, there’s no long nights, there’s no massive mountains that we have to cross over to get this child to finally connect in to quality sleep, and then clean up everything on the parents hands. So we when we started with our training and everything, we created our own program, to then support those little babies when they come home from the hospital, or they’ve birth at home. And you can just start right there and create quality foundations that are easy to do, regardless of home environment, how babies fed colic, gas, reflux, all those fun things, and just make it easy to get sleep right away. For everybody.

Jessi Sletten 7:41
I love that. I love that. Lindsey, do you have anything to add to that?

Lindsey Burchfield 7:45
Yeah, I think it just really starts with education. And that’s what we’re so passionate about imparting education about the science of sleep, like Paige said, but what are some things that you can just start doing from day one, that is, of course, not sleep training, but just laying those healthy sleep foundations, so that you are allowing your child to get the sleep that they need, you’re getting some sleep, of course, it’s understandable that a newborn is going to need to eat throughout the day in the night, right. And so sleep is going to be a little bit fragmented that way. But with time, right, we can start to get into a rhythm that allows for longer stretches of sleep during the night so that we’re all just getting the rest we need as early as we can. Because it’s, as Paige mentioned, right? When we have months and years of sleep deprivation, and we’re building up all of that sleep debt, that’s when things really start to have that big impact mentally and physically on baby and on mom and dad as well. Right parents in general. And so we’re just we want to make sure that we are educating families that it doesn’t have to be that way. And here are just some things we can start doing to really prioritize sleep from the beginning.

Jessi Sletten 8:55
I love that so so much. I really truly believe in my heart that so much of postpartum care and newborn care can be preventative through education, right? I really like that’s one of my philosophies as well is you know, supporting poor postpartum and that transition from a preventative health standpoint, because if we are trying to address it after the fact, which it’s never too late, right to address these problems, however, it’s going to be a lot harder for us to rewire those brain connections to understand and relearn these routines and prioritize prioritizing those things, right? It’s just a little bit more of a uphill battle. And so by doing it before baby even arrives, learning the science behind you know, sleep and how your newborn is going to be coming into this world and their biological patterns and all those things. Knowledge is power. And the same can be said about postpartum care, right and how we understand our own physique. illogical and biological shifts, we’re not taught these things, we are not taught them at all. And so it’s very difficult for us to find this information on our own. And so having the guidance and the support from professionals like you and for and for me and things like that, where we understand them, we can give you the tools to teach you. It’s such a valuable thing to be able to offer. And I would love for you guys to give me a little bit of a insight to some of those things that they can start doing, and learning and pregnancy to help set those healthy foundations. If you wouldn’t mind just sharing a couple of nuggets, I think that the audience would really love to get their hands on some of that.

Paige LeGault 10:43
Now, so in specifically in the fourth trimester, I think number one is getting a good latch or feeding rhythm, right? A hungry baby is not going to sleep. So first, please. Resources lactations pediatrician that once you’ve got that, then creating day versus night, right? babies aren’t born with circadian rhythms on their melatonin is not producing it for a little bit. So they’re getting that from you. And so they can get mixed up day versus night. And if anyone has experienced that, it’s it’s brutal, right? So Oh, yeah, creating a beautiful space in the morning, where we open the blinds, we have natural lighting, we’re listening to music, we’re doing our normal flows, cooking, vacuuming, experiencing life as we would before baby comes to make sure they feel like oh, it’s daytime, let’s make some cortisol and stay up a little bit right, then in that same tone is paying attention to the amount of sleep pressure a baby can have before they go back to sleep. So that would be an awake window. And what we’ve got to get done in that awake window is a change of feed and a little bit of play. So prioritizing making sure that they’re not up for more than 45 minutes and that you are doing a eat play sleep routine to help them with days and nights. Good for feeds into get to enjoy a little bit of baby snuggles and one on one time, right?

Lindsey Burchfield 12:21
And another thing we really love, and we always say this is a thing that you can do from the first day you get home from the hospital is starting a bedtime routine, right? And bedtime routines are so important when you are a newborn, but they’re even really important as an adult, right? So yes, routines are something that we can lean into and really utilize for an entire life. And it can start on day one when you’re home with baby. And the bedtime routine for a newborn is going to look a little bit different right than it might look like for a toddler or preschooler child as an adult. But it’s still a wonderful way to just help baby start to cue for sleep, to calm down right to get drowsy and ready to drift off into Dreamland. And so those routines really at this age be between about 30 minutes or so right? It’s going to include potentially a bath or even a washdown of some sort, potentially some lotion, maybe a little bit of baby massage going on there. You know, we’re gonna put them in their jammies, get them in their swaddle, sing a little bit of a song. And then you know, offering that feed as that last step, just because we want their little bellies to be full going into bed. So you know, in this age range, right through that, that process, they might be getting drowsy. They may even fall asleep at that feed totally okay, right. We’re not looking for independent sleep, right. But just this process, and doing it on a nightly basis, it’s just really helping that child’s body, prepare for what’s to come for a good night’s sleep. Yes,

Jessi Sletten 13:54
I love that so much. Because it’s really truly building those neural connections for them at the beginning, you know, because baby has so much going on in their brain, right? Like, it isn’t incredible how many neurons are in those little baby brains? And they’re going through that pruning process, right? They’re like, what do we need to keep? What do we need to let go of and so the stronger of an association that you’re making with those sleep cues, and feeding cues, and all those things, you know, that are important. Those are the ones that are going to stick, right and so they’re going to keep those ones they’re going to build those bridges for later on, for when they can develop maybe some more independence around their sleeping. So I really love that idea i and it’s so important to like you said for even adults to have these night rituals, right? Because that’s going to cue our own body and our own brain to say, okay, it’s okay for me to start relaxing and start drifting into a calmer state so that I myself can get that rest too. And baby’s going to feed off of that, you know, like they really find a lot of their cues through mom and dad. And so if we’re calm and we’re Starting to get sleepy, they’re going to mirror a lot of that, right. And so I think that that’s super important from day one to develop these night rituals and night routines so that we can carry that through for life. So I really love that. You mentioned that that’s awesome. So kind of on the topic of, you know, sleeping and making this possible and accessible to everyone. I’m sure everybody is like, okay, let’s talk about getting baby to sleep through the night, right? Because it seems like this mythical thing, that everybody’s like, sure, yeah, my baby will sleep through the night, right? So let’s talk about the reality around that how we can like prepare ourselves mentally, you know, and realistically on how that would look. And just some tips and tricks you guys might have.

Paige LeGault 15:46
Yeah, so the reality is a healthy baby who’s great gaining weight eating beautifully developing normally can sleep through the night as early as 10 to 12 weeks of age. Wow. It’s not a year.

Jessi Sletten 16:00
Or three years like in my instance.

Paige LeGault 16:09
Notice both personally and professionally out of all of our kids, we have three between the two of us, they all slept between eight and 12 weeks, we’ve done a little bit of a sleep unicorn over their fever, but they were all fed differently. They were all born at different times. They all have their own sleep spaces. We’ve traveled, we’ve moved, we’ve done all the things teething illness, potty training, everything. And they are incredible sleepers, we never have to worry about them. And the coolest part is is none of our children ever experienced long term sleep debt. So that piece alone as if you are a new parent, and you’re in the trenches in your fourth trimester, and you know, this is something you want to prioritize, start with that bedtime routine. Once you’ve brought that down, and you’ve done it for like a week or two, then build on a next step. You want to habit stack so you don’t flood yourself with too much work. And then you just say, Screw it, I’m not gonna do anything.

Jessi Sletten 17:15
Right, right, getting overwhelmed.

Paige LeGault 17:18
So start with that bedtime. And then from there, start setting a time every single day that you wake up at the same time. Again, we want to work with this cortisol, this melatonin, get sunshine in the first 10 minutes of the day to help with that vitamin D and cortisol levels, and then really protect them from getting overtired within those rangeland notes. So I would highly suggest tracking their sleep and understanding how much awake time is appropriate for each age range. In fourth trimester, and beyond, it changes very rapidly between newborn and four months, you go from a 45 minute wake window to two, two and a half hours. That so in breast on that would be critical. And then again, I would definitely say using feeds for feeds and not intentionally using a feed to put baby to sleep after four months of age. So following an eight play sleep rhythm, or even an eat, play, eat sleep rhythm is fine. That’s not long, but really, it’s watching your over tiredness, giving them the proper cues, like you had said Jessi and then following routines, again to cue them when it’s time to go down.

Lindsey Burchfield 18:36
Yeah, really. And I would definitely echo the over tiredness piece. That is, if we allow our newborns to get into an overtired state. That’s one of the hardest things to manage. And what happens is that just builds up right month over month. And now we get to something like a four month sleep regression, right, and things become even more challenging. The other thing too, in that fourth trimester that I think is important is that the goal should be to give your child opportunities to try to fall asleep on their own or independently. So it’s not something that in that fourth trimester you need to be doing all the time. In fact, it’s not possible, right? Newborns need assistance and help. But if we can provide different ways that a child may be falling asleep at the onset of sleep, so let’s say maybe sometimes they fall asleep while they’re feeding, maybe sometimes they fall asleep with a pacifier in their mouth. Sometimes they fall asleep when mommy’s holding them or in a stroller in a car. But guess what, sometimes they get that opportunity to try to fall asleep in their bassinet or their crib. Doing that and swapping out what we like to call our sleep tools is a wonderful way to help a child from getting extremely attached to one association are tool for falling asleep. And that’s really where the magic happens is where they are getting these small opportunities to kind of learn what it feels like to fall asleep in different ways. as well as fall asleep on their very own, right. And in that fourth trimester piece, right, you can really lean into the drowsy but awake. And I know a lot of families hear this concept of drowsy but awake. And it’s a good concept to use in that first really eight to 10 weeks, after 10 weeks of age, it can actually cause more problems. But in that first eight to 10 weeks, it’s an opportunity to get your babies slightly drowsy into a bassinet or crib, maybe put your hand on their chest, shush them a little bit and allow them to do the work of falling asleep. And there, you’ve just given that small opportunity of falling asleep independently. And then from the fourth trimester on we can continue to build on that. And that’s really where all of this magic happens within this independent sleep space, or the ability to fall asleep independently. Because if they’re doing it at the onset of sleep, when they come out of a sleep cycle, which we all do throughout the night, they have that opportunity to link in on their own. And guess what, with time and practice that creates a consolidated night of sleep.

Jessi Sletten 21:02
Yes, I love how you mentioned the you know, don’t overuse or Oh, get over dependent on one way to fall asleep. Because I feel like I see this a lot with the women in the in birth givers that I work with in postpartum where they say the only place they will sleep is on my chest. Right? And so then I’m nap trapped all day, or, you know, I can’t go and do these things. So do you have any advice for giving parents who might be stuck in this scenario, right, where they’re only sleeping one way, and it’s usually on a parent? And so they feel trapped? Right? Do you have any like words of advice or how to kind of give themselves permission to try these other things and really work on the uncomfortableness that can kind of creep up right in our own parenting guilt, or, or oh, we can’t let them cry. Because, you know, for me, I have to give my clients sometimes that permission to be like, it’s okay to take a five minute bathroom break, even if that means baby will be a little upset. Go do that for yourself. Because you need to do that your basic self care is just as important as caring for your baby. Right. And so those are kind of little things that we can work toward or work on. But I’d love to hear your perspective on that.

Paige LeGault 22:21
Yeah, we to hear this all the time. We ran all the way past a year of age and first off, if it’s working for you, you don’t have to make a change, right? It’s okay to contact nap with your baby. Yes, when it’s not working for you anymore, and you’re feeling rage, frustration, anger, resentment, it’s time to make a change. It’s okay to say even though this works for my baby, it doesn’t work for me and I need to change. You are allowed to do that as a parent and you should that’s being a parent, right? So I would suggest if you are in the fourth trimester, doing a couple of things to make their environment that you’re trying to get them into the bassinet, the crib, the mini crib, whatever, a little bit more enticing. So taking their bassinet sheet, their jammies or swaddle, tossing it into the dryer while we’re doing bath with something that mom has worn frequently a robe about pal, she’s used in her hair a couple of times, or a t shirt she’s had on all week, toss it into the dryer together for five to 10 minutes and warm it up and then sent Mark babies sleep stuff. Linda, I really love that. Yeah, have your partner or any other support system, grab those items, replace them into the sleep environment and air them out just a little bit. It doesn’t need to be hot just and then when you get baby all snuggled in, they’ll be warm, it’ll smell like mama, they’ll feel safe, they’ll get a little bit of dopamine and oxytocin, and then you can support them into that bassinet. Right. It’ll smell like mama. The other thing too is I would say don’t be scared of their cries cries communication and not every cry means I’m in danger. You need to immediately pick me up and soothe me down. Newborns are noisy.

Jessi Sletten 24:19
Yeah, they’re learning their voice man. They’ve been in like quiet utero for nine months.

Paige LeGault 24:27
Yes. And so babies I think an important thing to know is in that fourth trimester, they don’t have all four stages of the sleep cycle like we do, or four month olds and up, which means a lot of their sleep looks different. Number one, they don’t go into paralysis at all. That’s why they move and escape the swaddle, they might whale tail their legs and slam their legs down. Wiggling heads sucking things like that. They’re protecting their airway and their soothing. Number two, they only have deep sleep, which is stage three, and then REM. And so they go back and forth between those two, which is why transferring, feeding naps on the go movement naps. Those all work beautifully because when they fall asleep, they are out, but they can wiggle and jiggle, and they’re gonna have vocalization throughout that sleep again to keep that airway clear. Right. So number one, when they’re transitioning out of that sleep cycle ending and into a new one, you are going to hear cute little noises, growling, grunting groaning, there are so many more, you don’t have to immediately jump up and feed the baby, it’s okay to give them a two to four minute pause where you’re sitting, observing, but non interacting. And if people fully wake up, eyes open, looking around, crying, now it’s time to give him some support. And that could need a feed, a change of pickup a little bit of love in the sleep space, you have more options than just bringing them to the breast or the chest or the bottle.

Lindsey Burchfield 26:11
Yeah, I think another big thing for the newborn or the fourth trimester phase is that swaddling can also be extremely helpful. Right. So just as Paige mentioned, newborns are moving a lot, right. And they just have Moro reflex, that startle reflex, their bodies are just moving and grooving. And that can be a way to truly wake them up often as well. So the concept of the that swaddle array is to help them feel again, like they’re in your utero, right? It’s warm, it’s cozy, it’s restrictive in nature. And so that’s another thing that we always love to suggest is yes, there are some little babies out there that don’t like the swaddle, my unicorn sleeper was one of them, she was like no way. But for the vast majority of little ones, it’s another really great way to help that child feel kind of compressed and tight and warm and snuggly, and able to be put into a crib or bassinet, and to get some stretch of sleep at that point in time, too. So we are very pro swaddle, we enjoy this.

Paige LeGault 27:11
And I would also tack on to that, that if you have been swaddling with arms down, whether they’re crossed up to the sides and baby escapes, and they don’t like it. And it’s a big battle. It’s because in utero, their arms are up by their face, they are hands in utero, they can rub their face, they can correct themselves, right. So having arms down doesn’t feel safe. So when moving up, they’re going to startle and try to get those hands out and they get really angry. So try to find a couple of options to cycle out for three or four days in a row. And then you can figure out what your specific baby likes and stick with that.

Jessi Sletten 27:53
Yes, I love that I want to mention it too when you were speaking Lindsey about, you know, each baby is going to have their own preferences, right their individual person just like we adults are and so learning their likes their dislikes. It’s a process, you know, and I think that so many of us when we are new first time parents, we just think it’s gonna like somehow download from the universe, this maternal like instinct manual of how to care for baby how to feed baby, right? And then we have these huge like bouts of disappointment or guilt when we’re like, we don’t know what we’re doing, you know, and it’s like this scary thing where we expected to just No, and the reality is, it’s a learning process, you’re learning how to parent, just like baby is learning how to live outside of your womb, right. And they’re learning how to latch they’re learning how to feed. It is a learning process. And so giving yourself permission and the grace to try different things. But also do it in a way that structured like you said, page where you were saying, like cycle that out every three to four days, you want to give it a chance to see what’s working, what’s not. So I loved that advice. Because I think it’s really important for us not to just settle on one way like this is the only way that you know, I can get my baby to sleep because experts say so are the baby books, say so. And then it’s not working for your baby, you know, change it up. And if it’s not working for your baby, follow their lead, make sure you’re you’re checking in with your own self, what feels good for you as a parent, and really just giving it a go right and trying to dozen different things. And then that’s where that support. I think from people like you, from a coach like me can really come in handy because we’re getting that validation to these parents and we’re saying, it’s cool, we can try something else. And then we’re really just trying to help them brainstorm through this process, which I think everybody needs. Everybody needs that guidance and mentorship as a new parent because Nobody knows what they’re doing. Like, it’s okay. We’re all in that group together.

Paige LeGault 30:06
When we brought our babies home every time we’re like, here we go.

Jessi Sletten 30:10
Exactly. I thought I knew what I was doing. But no one needs something totally different, right?

Lindsey Burchfield 30:17 100
They are all very unique. They all have their own ways.

Jessi Sletten 30:21
yeah, exactly. I loved the tip about the dryer with the item that has mommy sent on it, I had heard the mommy sent one, I’ve tried the sheet thing where you put it in your shirt, and you’re walking around with it all day, and then you put it back out, you know. And then I’ve heard the I try this with my son, the heating pad warming the space before you lay them down, remove it, obviously, because you don’t want that in there when baby sleeps. But that’s another kind of little trick that you can try to warm that sleep space up because they’re going from warm and cozy to Burr. That’s a cold sheet. You know, like, I don’t like this, like it’s been, of course wake you up. So do you have any other like little tidbits like that that might be helpful too.

Paige LeGault 31:05
right, here’s another good one with partner support. So whoever the non dominant parent is, or carrier of baby, I felt this in my own journey. And I see it all the time with clients. But when we come home, as moms, and we make that transition from pregnant to postpartum, we internalize and take over everything, we don’t want to give that baby to even our partner who we chose to have our baby with, right?

Jessi Sletten 31:37
Nope, I can do it all, even if we’re not.

Paige LeGault 31:42
And we feel like we have to do it all and it also doesn’t feel safe to pass over our baby when all those hormones are going crazy and PPD PPA everything right? But try to allow your partner to come in on agreed upon support methods that feel good and have been talked about beforehand. So that way it feels safe and you feel supported, and you get a break. And so I would suggest giving your partner again, the mom’s shirt that she’s been wearing all day to just drape on a shoulder wear, put over their back so that way when they have baby, and mom can go nap or shower or eat, we know that again, that scent smell is there. And we’re creating that safety and security with our other partner.

Jessi Sletten 32:30
Yes, I love that and something as a lactation consultant or counselor. In my training, one of the tips that they had is a little milky, which can be like a little tiny, like lovey, or on the blanket or shirt, and just putting a little bit of milk on there. If you are choosing to chest or breastfeed that can give that scent and that comfort there too. And that can be really helpful and easy to wash. Right? Obviously, you don’t want to just keep doing that. And using that same thing for a couple days. Soiled and sour smelling but yeah, the milk scent is great, too. So that’s another little thing that you can do. But Lindsey, do you have any other ideas or tips?

Lindsey Burchfield 33:11
Yeah, and kind of what the on the theme of partner right? We also like to oftentimes to include partner in the bedtime routine. I know going back bedtime routine, but you know, once your supply is established if you are breastfeeding, right, maybe a couple of weeks after delivery, your you know, babies latches, well, they’re feeding Well, all of that. If things are going in the right direction with that you’re feeling comfortable, sometimes introducing just the bedtime bottle. So one bottle of the day and allowing for a partner to be able to offer that bottle can just be helpful for mom, right? You go through bedtime routine mom can go to bed, she can get some rest right partner can take over dad can take over offer that bottle, the baby. And that gives them a wonderful bonding time. Right? I know, personally, for my husband, one of the things when we had our first was he just felt like he didn’t know what to do. Right? He didn’t know how to be involved. Like how am I going to bond with this baby when Mom has baby all the time. And so that was a space where we came to an agreement on where we’re going to allow dad to really own the bedtime routine. And what happened was he own that bedtime routine for years, to be honest, he was the one taking that lead. My kids loved it, it was that opportunity for them to bond with that. And so that’s another space to where if you do have that non dominant parent, you could plug them in and that bedtime routine, again if you’re comfortable with offering a bottle and that’s can just be a beautiful opportunity for that, you know, for that non dominant parent to bond and also give mom or whoever gave birth to the baby a little bit more time and rest so they can go and go to sleep and you know, nighttime feeds come around but getting a little bit more shuteye right.

Jessi Sletten 34:57
Yes, love that finding those solutions to maximize the sleep that you can get. And I love that you mentioned, you know, really having that discussion and plan in place with your partner. That is one of the biggest things that I think we can start working on in pregnancy is really getting on the same page with our partner on how we’re going to both shoulder that parenting load. And having those discussions on what’s important to you, what’s important to me, how do I want to be involved? How do I want to support you in the baby? How do you need to be supported? You know, and having these discussions in pregnancy, really builds those communication, you know, just those systems of communication and making sure that it’s open, it’s vulnerable, it’s, you know, something that we can really open our hearts to, to one another, to be able to be on the same page. Because so many times and this happened with my own experience and my own entrance into motherhood, I assumed my husband was on the same page as me. And assuming we all know that saying, sometimes it doesn’t work out, right, like we don’t know, what’s going on in partner’s brain, right. And so and they don’t know what we’re thinking. And so having those conversations you might think you don’t need to have, usually you need to have them. And so sitting down, making a plan on support, making a plan on how partner can be involved from the very beginning, really helps build that strong foundation of avoiding the crushing load that gets placed on one parent, most often the mom, you know, and who can just like this is too much, you know, from day one. But if we’re avoiding that from day one, and really having those conversations and understanding how partner can support you, and how you can support them and how they want to build this relationship with their new baby. It’s so so important. And because they’re going through their own version of postpartum too, which is really important for us to understand. And having those conversations can really be the key to avoiding postpartum arguments and resentment and all those things that can really start fracturing our relationship, which should be the foundation of our family, right?

Paige LeGault 37:14
I mean, I feel like it’s a make or break. I agree with you, Jessi. I remember feeling so prepared before hospital and I did all the things and I made food, and I got my pump clean and visited it at whatever. Yeah, I remember the first time sitting down and holding her in my arms and looking around and thinking, what did I just do?

Jessi Sletten 37:43
Like, I don’t have a return policy. But I don’t know if I’m really ready for this. Like, Oh, God.
Paige LeGault 37:52
That’s a metamorphosis, right. Who you are pre pregnancy, and then during pregnancy and what you come out after it, you are completely different woman in good, bad and ugly, and you should allow it right. But yeah, I agree. That conversation is critical.

Lindsey Burchfield 38:13 Yeah, absolutely. And it’s critical long term, right? That your your spouse or your partner are on the same page, that’s incredibly critical as your children age to right, they need to have that united front. As parents and caregivers, that’s not only makes them feel secure, right in their life and with their caregivers, but it’s just important. Overall, it can be very confusing to children’s long term if parents are not on the same page. And so up start day one, it’s something that you can continue doing because it is extremely critical from the very beginning.

Jessi Sletten 38:45
Absolutely, yeah. And really modeling that relationship that you hope for, for your children, you know, down the line and showing them what a healthy relationship is and what a healthy communication pathway looks like. And even if there is argument, and there is, you know, miscommunication or, you know, you don’t completely agree, you’re showing them how to sit down and have that conversation and work it out. And then coming back to them as united front. Like you said, Lindsay is so so important. And we don’t think about that. As new parents, right? We just think about, okay, here’s how you can support me during the birth. A lot of times we have those conversations, sometimes we don’t, and we need to have those too. But you know, as a part of the birthing process, we go through the classes together, we take the Lamaze classes, or Hypnobabies, or whatever, you know, we’re doing all these things. There’s nothing like that for after we bring baby home that’s as readily available. And so really understanding how you’re going to work as a team so that you can turn toward one another instead of away from each other when things get really hard. is so important. It really is. Yeah. Well, and I wanted to briefly talk about because I know we’re getting close, not too close to time, but we’re really getting into it because we just have such great conversations. I love this, that we’re all just so on the same page, but, you know, laying healthy sleep foundations, you know, you talked about that briefly in the beginning and how that’s so important. And I think that that’s a really broad topic, right? Because there’s a lot of things that that that could mean, right. And one of the things that we’ve worked on in a collaboration in the past was really talking about how to create like a environment in which you can have baby be safe, have their own sleep space, encourage that sleep, laying those foundations, while also thinking about your own recovery, and having this postpartum sanctuary built before baby arrives. And I think that that’s something that is so important that not many of us think about because we think about decorating the nursery, we think about getting all the cute things on the walls, you know, and what cribs sets we want and what mobile we want in the room and all these cute things, which I’m not saying, don’t do that. That’s fun. That makes it exciting, right, but don’t forget about your own recovery and the actual function of having baby those first few months, because maybe that whole big separate space isn’t what most likely is not what your baby is going to need, right? And so if you can just like give a little bit of tips as far as like setting up that space for the very beginning and what that kind of looks like from the baby’s perspective. And then I can kind of chime in to what we could talk about for you and your recovery. I think that would be really beneficial.

Paige LeGault 41:34
Yeah, I agree with you. I, I personally didn’t use our nursery until week three, which is early really early. We started doing naps once a day in the nursery, every other sleep was either in the bassinet in the bedroom. So I would say definitely have a safe sleep area in your bedroom for night’s sleep and making sure you understand what those safe sleep areas are right? Best. A firm flat mattress a fitted sheet, no additional soft items in the bed, no baby loungers or baby nests in there that are softer, it’s firm for a reason, right? There’s no neck control that we need them to not move and accidentally roll or get into a space where they have positional asphyxiation, or smothering. So again, firm flat mattress. And then I would definitely say making sure that you have anything that you need to tend to them from your bed, whether that’s during the day or the night. So diapers wipes, maybe a good nose Frieda to suck out some of those bugs. Yeah, clothing. And just making sure that it’s within arm’s reach of where mom is going to be, especially because we can plan for the best birth. But sometimes we end up doing something where we have a harder recovery for one reason or the other. So making it easy for mom to get to baby and the supplies that she needs. And then I would also suggest having some sort of backup sheet or waterproof situation. Because failures happen whether they’re puking from baby or leaning over and leaking.

Jessi Sletten 43:36 there’s a lot of liquids that happen that first few months.

Paige LeGault 43:45
maybe looking at some waterproof options as well for under that fitted sheet. And then I would also
suggest some sort of ambient lighting for nighttime. That way you don’t have to get up and turn on this terrible overhead bright none of us want. There’s really great products out there. We love the hatch. We also love that little egg that you tap on and creating that warm glow in that room but choose some ambient lighting so sunset colors red, orange gold. And that can help you feed baby easily in the night.

Lindsey Burchfield 44:25 Yeah, yes, I love that and the data has shown that room sharing really ideally for six months even to a year does reduce the risk of SIDS. So it’s something that the AAP suggests it’s something that we suggest here at parenting practice. And there’s a lot of importance in that but that’s the concept of room sharing, not bed sharing. So we do like to make that differentiation there. I also in terms of what Paige was saying, when you are going down for the night I think it’s important to have an environment that is calm that is quiet. That is dark right if we are going Going to be using light, it’s going to be the colors that Paige mentioned, because we want to set the stage that this is a place for sleep. And so we want our night times right to look different than our day times. And one of the best ways to help a child develop their circadian rhythm is by establishing a really nice set of 12 hours of nighttime and 12 hours of daytime. So during that nighttime, we want to be moving slowly, we want to have the lights off, we want it to be calm, quiet. Of course, we also do love white noise. So that’s an option too. But we want to have an environment right that is really conducive for sleep. So that baby understands this is sleep, this is rest time, daytime looks a little bit different. And also temperature is a big deal. Right? So anywhere between 71-68 degrees is what we’re looking for. I think a lot of times parents are worried about babies getting cold, they’re very, my baby’s going to be cold, where in fact overheating actually can be something that is one of the risk factors for SIDS. So we want to be aware of the environment and the temperature. We always want to dress baby at least in that first year with one more layer than we ourselves are wearing. So things like that too can really just be important to setting up a nice environment that’s conducive to sleep.

Jessi Sletten 46:21
That’s awesome. Well, thank you so much. This has been such an informative and fun conversation with you guys. I always love when we can get together. Like I mentioned, we have a collaboration that you guys can check out. I created a fourth trimester guide that’s all about creating your sanctuary after before baby arrives so that your postpartum is smoother. And you can get that on Paige and Lindsay’s website. And if you wouldn’t mind could you guys just share how people can get connected with you?

Paige LeGault 46:51
Yeah, so we’re on all social media also our website so Instagram is @parentingpracticeco you can click our link in our bio and get to our website and our blog and all that fun stuff. But that’s the easiest place to find us is over on Instagram.

Jessi Sletten 47:08 Perfect. Well, thank you guys again so much. And for all of you beautiful life creators out there listening today. Remember that Empowering Postpartum Coaching guides new and pregnant moms through the transition into motherhood so that they can bond with baby without sacrificing their own self care.

So shoot me a DM on Instagram as well my handles up there @empowering_postpartum and we can chat and see how I can help you. And remember this show can be heard on the Spanglish radio network. For all the news and programming please check out Spanglish world dot c A Spanglish world, watch it, hear it, read it, download it, and live it.

Tips on creating a sleep-conducive environment for newborns, including swaddling techniques.

12. Parenting Tips for Newborns and Breastfeeding
Encouragement for parents to try different methods and follow baby’s cues for sleep training.

13. Postpartum Support and Bonding with Partners
Importance of partner involvement in postpartum care and bonding.

14. Safe Sleep Practices for Newborns
Recommendations for creating a safe sleep area for newborns.

15. Creating a Sleep-Conducive Environment
Expert advice on creating a sleep-conducive environment for babies.

Outro:
Jessi thanks listeners for tuning in and highlights the resources offered by Parenting Practice including their collaboration with her 4th Trimester Guide.